Larne Cricket Club

Larne 4ths Reach semi-final

Larne 4ths have made it to the semi-finals of the Minor Qualifying cup for the second consecutive year.  They defeated Carrick, who knocked them out at the semi-final stage last year, by eight wickets in a match played at Beltoy Road .  Carrick won the toss and elected to bat, with both teams giving the young players a chance. Larne initially found the conditions very difficult, with a howling arctic wind creating problems for the opening bowlers.  The opening bowlers, Semple and Andrew McGarrell, were given a brand new ball for only the second time this season, but both of them struggled to put it on a good line and length during the first few overs.

In fact, the new ball itself lasted for only 15 deliveries before Semple tried to bang it into the pitch to see what sort of bounce the wicket might provide.  The ball lost all speed and slowly sat up at around chest height for the left-handed Searle, who powerfully hit it for six over square-leg.  In fact, he did not so much hit it and dismiss it from his presence and bid it “ bon voyage! ” as it flew into an nearby field.  Several search parties were sent to area during the course of the day, but they had no success in retrieving it.  That meant that each delivery with the ball had cost about £1, an incredibly high price to pay for no wickets at all.

Semple though soon has his revenge, and he dismissed both openers to leave Carrick in trouble at 22-2 in the seventh over.  Blair though now entered to play a savage innings which threatened to take the game out of Larne's reach.  He smashed seven fours and a six to race to 63 in no time at all, and Carrick actually reached 86 for 3 in the 19 th over before the Larne captain took a gamble and brought back his opening bowler. Andrew Semple then produced a fantastic slower-ball which bamboozled and then clean bowled the in-form Blair, who promptly turned and threw his bat much of the way toward the boundary in a lamentable display of bad temper.  Would nothing less than a century have pleased him?

At the other end, Michael Lyle proved very effective bowling into the wind. His priceless ability to take wickets with full-tosses and long-hops proved to be his greatest asset, and he finished with 4-32 as the Carrick tail capitulated meekly.  Semple too feasted on the inexperienced tail enders to finish with 5-20, and Carrick were dismissed for just 118 in the 28 th over.   

In reply, Larne opener Eddie Wilson hit his first six in competitive cricket before being dismissed for a promising 25. Church played across the line and was bowled by the promising Kearnon in the sixth over, but that brought together Jonathon Graham and Esler Burke, who then produced an un-broken stand of 70 to win the match.  Their styles contrasted almost as greatly as their ages differed: Burke was the responsible, technically correct player who never looked like getting out as he worked the ball around skilfully to pick up the ones and twos, whilst Graham showed all the impetuosity of youth as he played across the line and audaciously took the game away from Carrick with his quick but risky scoring.

Jonathon Graham saved his best not for one of the young bowlers, but for the Carrick captain who he clinically hit out of the attack, as if he sensed that Humphries was the last chance Carrick had.  In his first over Jonathon hit him for three consecutive boundaries, two off his legs and then the third a brutal cut for four to the other side of the ground, almost just for variety.  It brought to mind thoughts of another small dynamo of a batsman, Learie Constantine, who once said his plan for every innings was to first hit the ball to all four corners of the ground  “and then try not to be too predictable”.

Larne won comfortably by eight wickets in the 24 th over, with Burke finishing on 24 not out and Graham 33 not out, and they will face another local derby in the semi-final on July 24 th against Ballymena. The match against Carrick was sponsored by the Curran Court , and it was in truth a rather mundane affair, in sharp contract to events off the field of play which took place during the build-up to the match.  Larne had three teams at home in the cup on Saturday, and at an early stage had contacted Carrick and requested that the 4ths match be moved to Beltoy Road .  This is a common enough occurrences in local cricket, and all was well until the Larne match secretary received a call saying that the ground was unavailable and that it would have to be played on Sunday.  

This created numerous problems for Larne…What would happen to the players who would have to be left out to accommodate the un-starred members of the thirds and fourths?  Obviously, they would simply not get a game of cricket that weekend.  Moreover, if Larne won with a team of “superstars”, then it would be a case of going back and asking those players who had been left out to come back into the team for the semi-final, which was an equally unappealing option. 

There was a solution though…just two weeks ago in the previous round of the competition, Dunmurry had used Beltoy Road as their home ground due to get their cup-match (against Larne) played on a Saturday, and Larne decided to duplicate this course of action.  They approached Carrick council, completed the required forms and paid their money, meaning that the game could now go ahead on the Saturday and that Larne would be able to use 44 different cricketers over the weekend.  It seemed a perfect solution.  In reality though, Larne had dropped Carrick into difficulty with the council by inadvertently alerting them to the fact that Dunmurry had used Beltoy Road .  As Ireland battled and then defeated the West Indies- Yes, they really did beat them- there was considerable consternation at Stormont between the two clubs over the issue of the booking of Beltoy Road .

Larne arrived at the ground on Saturday expecting the match to be a testy and perhaps nasty occasion, possibly featuring several talented ex-players brought in especially for the occasion by Carrick.  They need not have worried; when they arrived, the Carrick side was as young and inexperienced as Larne, and the match was played in an excellent, friendly fashion. However, there was a major problem for Larne to attend to, for when the side went out to inspect the pitch, they found nothing more than an un-cut square.

Immediately, the match was plunged into doubt.  With no pitch prepared, Larne faced the possibility of forfeiting the match, and one member of the team added his own perspective on proceedings when he announced, with more than a touch of paranoia and fear, that   “Matt Anthony is going to walk over that hill and call the match off!”   It was 1245am, and a quick check of the area revealed that the groundsman's equipment shed was securely locked.  The good weather had left the square in good condition, but the grass clearly needed cut.  Several dramatic methods of gaining access to the store were suggested by the junior members of the team, including most ridiculously an apparently serious suggestion that we use a car to ram-raid the door in order to get our hands on the precious horticultural implements.

Then, Esler Burke conceived of a different plan, which seemed scarcely less absurd than the ram-raid idea.…He announced that he was going to knock on all the doors in the area until he found a household with a petrol lawnmower. This appeared to me to be the biggest waste of time imaginable...but I should have learned not to underestimate Esler, and it was not long before he re-appeared wheeling a petrol lawnmower exactly as we needed.  There was no time to ask where or how he had gotten it, for he fired up its engine as he soon as he reached the grass and began sprinting toward the square, spraying a tiny-trail of grass-cuttings behind him as he raced toward the wicket.  This was a man on a mission.

The potential disaster though had not been averted, for the mower was not cutting the grass close enough; it required lowering.  There was a total lack of tools for the task though, and the best idea we could come up with was to have someone stand on the mower to lower it.  There were few volunteers for this job though, until eventually Frank Parkinson decided he would have a go.  He balanced precariously on the top of the extremely loud and dangerous sounding machine, and for about two seconds his added weight had the desired effect as the mower bit into the grass and sent an increased volume of grass cuttings flying into the air.  However, the forward momentum of the mower caused him to lose his balance, and he tumbled directly into its path, just managing to stay on his feet.  His old graying tennis shoes and the toes contained within came to within millimeters of the cutting blades before he moved his right foot out of the way…his left foot though was now in danger, and it was only a comical contortion that allowed him to finally get out of the way of disaster.

Burke though scarcely noticed the near amputation of Parkinson's toes, preferring instead to concentrate on running the lawnmower over the pitch as many times as possible, despite the fact that it was barely taking any grass at all off. It had now passed one o'clock, and I resolved to talk to him and try to find out what else we could do.  I choose my moment carefully, waiting until he reached the end of the wicket and the brief delay that was required to change direction.  “Es-“was all that I got out before I was given a subtle insight into his state of mind…

“F*CKING BASTARDS!!!!” were the only words he uttered before he turned to do another length of the pitch.  I was really not sure who he was referring too, and I hoped he would enlighten me further after the next circuit.  “F*CKING BLOODY BASTARDS!!!!”  was all I heard on this time.  Was the council the object of his venom?  Or the opposition?  Or just the world in general?  Its probably best that we never find out…Looking back on it, the non-preparation of the pitch for a Larne home match was the most unthinkable and heinous thing imaginable to Esler and it is no exaggeration that I have never seen him, or anyone else, so enraged by events as he was at that precise moment.  I am fairly confident that he could have fought and defeated the incredible hulk if it had happened to walk past and enquire as to how things were going.

I could see no way to shake him out of his apoplectic state, until one of the forgotten juniors began shouting “I've got them!”  He had gone to a near-by car boot sale and found someone who had a set of spanners and was prepared to lend them to us.  Not only had we found a mower, but we had now added a set of spanners.  With the correct tools, it was a fairly easy task for the Esler to lower the cutting-blades, and soon the pitch was being properly prepared for the game.  Eventually, Carrick turned up, just as the pitch preparation was completed.  They all appeared totally unaware of the drama that had preceded the match, and I must confess that I have never envied the away team as much as I did that day.  Still, the match was soon to be won, and although no-one will ever remember what happened on the field of play, I will never forget the madness that preceded the match.  Burke and Parkinson both announced that they were shattered by the pre-match events and Larne were more than happy to field first and allow everyone a chance to calm down before having to bat. 

Special thanks must go to the un-named individual who provided the lawnmower, and indeed to Esler and the rest of the very resourceful team who worked extremely hard in acquiring the tools and ensuring that the pitch and ground were ready to play on. Larne bought the gentleman a box of chocolates before they left, but it was nothing more than a token to a very kind and helpful man.  He might not be so pleased when he next goes to cut his lawn and finds that it is now cutting the grass to a length of about 3 millimeters, but that will be another story for someone else to tell.  After all the preparation, it was almost inevitable that the match would be a disappointment.  Let us hope that the semi-final will be remembered more for events on the field than off it.