Player Profile for Robert McClean
| Name: |
Robert McClean |
| Age: | 21 |
| Nickname: | Rab , Staples, Red Card, Baldy Fat C%nt |
| Batsman/Bowler/All-rounder: | Definitely round! I'll say all-rounder, thousands wouldn't |
| Other teams played for: | Despite Eslers attempts to sell me for £1.50 to Templepatrick at age 14, I'm still stuck at that sh&t hole Sandy Bay. One club man |
| Debut (Date and Opposition): | For 1 st 's, about 4 years ago |
| Highest Score: | 104no v Queens 2nd's |
| Best Bowling: | Couple of 5-fors, lots of 4-fors |
| Favourite Opposition: | Anyone I've bowled well against and therefore might afford me a little batsman-bowler type respect! Alternatively, Carrick |
| Least Favourite Opposition: | Dunmurry |
| Favourite Ground(s): | Carrick, Laurelvale |
| Least Favourite Ground(s): | Derriaghy hillside (always bowl sh&t there). Cloughan minefield - pavilions too far away - no-one can throw their bat that far, not even Esler |
| Career Highlight: | Not reached any dizzy heights yet, but ton was nice for the 2nd 's, winning Lords Taverners inner cities tournament for Belfast at Arundel was nice. Promotion out of Section Three |
| Career Low Point: | Being sent off for Burky's Babes as a youngster |
| Best Player you played with: | Douglas (Griebenouw) looks awesome (in the nets), in terms of home grown talent- Johnny Craig, Keith Hogg, both have talent to burn, just don't use it all the time |
| Best Player you played against: | Barry Cooper- some bat, Ryan Eagleson |
| How did you first get interested in cricket? | To bring the average penis size in the club back down to normal human proportions! Seriously though, brother Gary (aka ‘Skill') played a little for the under 15's, and I just went along one day for the craic |
| Who have been the major influences on your career to date? | Leitch/Gorman/Hegarty/Newell quartet for getting me ‘on it' at an early age, which no doubt advanced my career to the level I'm at now . . . .low. Mckee and Gerf for providing the lifts from Belfast to Larne - no way am I actually paying to get to Larne on a bus or train |
| Favourite Food: | Massive fillet steak with blood dripping. Pasta, tuna, sweetcorn , mayo |
| Favourite Drink: | Crate of harp, triple Bacardi and coke, bottle of gin. Not really fussy that way. Any shared with a shower of bastards from Larne cricket club |
| What was the most memorable match you have played in? | Under 15's V Ballymena? Masterly display of captaincy by myself to open the batting with Dean Hodge and Scot Allan, everyone saying 'what did you do that for you tit', then watching them bat for 25 glorious overs, flaying the bowling to all parts, Boonicles was 99 not out, denied his ton by dodgy call for byes when they were clearly runs- by Gerf Alexander. Also last years match with Carrick was a cracker. Two tons, even though I was a disgrace to my family when I bowled |
| What was the funniest thing you have seen in a cricket match? | Craigy's knob popping out through a rip in his trousers as he ran into bowl. Big Knoxy hitting a young lad by the name of ‘Sage' on the head from a boundary throw, and renaming him ‘Sage and Bunion'. Oh we did laugh |
| What ambitions have you in cricket? | To one day be the captain of this rabble, and take my place above Craigy in the batting order. Also, to get promoted into Section One, get stuffed every week and get relegated again |
| What do you think of the current Larne side? | Clearly the best side the club have ever been able to field, even without any overseas players. Measure of success is winning, and we have been winners. Up to now!! |
| Name your all time Larne XI: | 1. Johnny Craig (when not at an appointment in the salon) 2. Gareth Alexander (provide the radar if we lose sight of the ball) 3. Paul Ramsey (w.o.c .- wiley old codger) 4. Rab McClean (captain, no.3 bat, no.1 bowler, leader of people, inspiration to all) 5. Ken McKinley (devine inspiration when the chips are down) 6. Derek McKinley (minus missus and children) 7. Wylie McKinty (vice captain, rule book merchant) 8. Keith Hogg (after match entertainment, morale booster) 9. Douglas Griebenouw (as the only person likely to score any runs) 10. Conrad Du Toit (can always be relied on to get a round in at the bar) 11. Trevor Dempsey (wicketkeeper, to slag….em ….em …me!) 12. Micheal Waterman (wicket keeping coach for Demps, team slabber) |